Friday, December 19, 2014

10 things I love about my husband

It was sugested by an article I read somewhere, to write down a list of ten about everything we like about our partner. So,  we can refer to them at anytime. This is also to keep the spark of our love at anytime we read them. 

So, here is my list:

1. My husband proposed me on the third "date". He showed me how a real man should do in addressing his ongoing relationship. His action restored my faith again, that a man should be decisive and brave in taking action. 

2. If I can pick one personality that represent my husband as a whole is: HONEST. He is very honest in everything. I can guess easily what he's up to at the moment, because he always tell me everything (from important things like what he wants to do with his carrier, to unimportant things like what he thinks about his boss, haha), and he updates me if there is something change. He seems no problem at all when spotting me reading his phone messages, etc (--well, most of wives do I guess :p). He directly told me how he earns on the first dates (don't get me wrong, I didn't ask). That made me love his honesty in the first place, and since the first time. To me, privacy will be "shared privacy". The privacy will be our privacy, privacy is between us, against anybody outside us. I always appreciate an honest people more, since I can only be silent and can't confrontate when people tell a lie (and most of the time, I know that they do). So, honesty is a the basis for evey further step I take in life. 

3. He has same minded friends like me, and my friends can get along with him really well. This is important part since this fact confirms the fact that he is honest with friends, and most likely with everybody. 

4.He is very persistent with his principle and idealism, and doesn't mind if other people knew about that, even if he beccomes different. His persistency shown in a wide range aspect: from work ethic (not receiving money offered by vendor, colleague-private boundaries, etc), in practising religion (not "drinking' during an international function, etc), and of course in family (consistently support me in nurtuting the baby, cooking, etc).

5. He is outspoken but also sensitive at the same time. He is from East Java, so saying his feelings or wants has never been a problem for him (unlike me). He will directly say no without hesitation, at any occasion. However, he is sensitive for any gesture or behaviour. He will know that I am not happy with his behaviour by one gesture I showed to him, he will notice when I suddenly silent or when my mimic change, etc. :)

6. He is generous. Although I am not financially dependent to him, but somehow it feels so good to be with somebody generous :))

7. He appreciate my carrier. He likes to listen whatever I say about what happen in my office, and give insightful feedbacks, he support me when I have business trip to other cities or countries (by feeding my baby with frozen ASI and nurture her the whole night). He remembers most of the colleague's names I ever mentioned to him, even if the name is very far related. like: my friend in the office who attended the same university with him, but different major, and different directorate with me :)). And he also makes friends with my friends in the office. And most importantly, he is happy when I got the scholarship for my master degree. I do not earn that much,so the pride from my husband means everything to me.

8. He is a attentive. By nature, I am a typical woman who likes intense attention and constant presence of a man (husband). My husband feed those needs just perfectly. He never missed of knowing whatever I am doing from I wake up in the morning until I sleep at night. He say hi in the morning, know my activity for the day (although most of them are just working in the office :p), and what time I go to bed. 

9. He always knows that I am angry or not happy (although he might not really know why, haha). It feels so relief to know that my husband know that I am not happy with what he is doing, sometimes we just need the mesage sent, without solution.  I know that maybe he read it  somewhere on how to treat 'angry woman', but he really practices the suggestion from the book. He makes efforts to make me happy again, and I like it. Well, I am not angry often, my default as an Aries girl is happy and positive (hehe apologize my astrology refference, but that's the basic character of an Aries girl and it's true to me). But, of course everything is not always in our expectation.
10. At last, and the best thing I love from him is that, he said "I love you" to me very often. Hehehehe. He said it on at least daily basis, sometimes couple of hourly basis hehe...through a text or whatsapp, and occasionally he emailed me heart to heart expressing saying love too, and even in the middle of his sleep he will say I love you when open his eyes a little, hahaha. I know that love is action...even without being said, love can be crealy shown. But, what about action plus saying I love you?  Instantly melting.

I think that's all for now. My husband is not perfect, no body is perfect. It is love which can see perfection in imperfection. And this is how I promised myself to always love him. 

May Allah bless our love until forever and hereafter. Amiiin. 


I am leaving 11 January 2015. Scheduled to stay there up to 31 December 2016.

Zero expectation. checked.


Thursday, November 20, 2014

"Kamu kayaknya sering melakukan hal gila ya Win?"

Suatu ketika, teman saya nyeletuk begitu pada saya ketika saya menceritakan bagaimana saya berusaha sekuat tenaga mengasuh anak saya semaksimal mungkin, saya lalu menyadari bahwa teman saya itu ada benarnya. Saya juga heran dari mana saya dapat energi dan keberanian utnuk melakukan kegilaan itu, for me, it just takes passion and love to do that.

Mungkin, berikut beberapa kegilaan saya yang pernah saya lakukan dalam rangka mengasuh anak saya:

1.  Saya pernah pergi ke Ha Noi Vietnam saat saya hamil sekitar 6 bulan. Konon di fase kehamilan ini kita paling sehat dan nyaman, dan rupanya itu benar. Alhamdilillah semuanya berjalan dengan baik. Sebulan sebelumnya, saya juga pergi ke Singapura bersama suami dengan perut yang sudah cukup besar.

2. Saya pernah (mencoba) membawa ASI perah ke dalam pesawat sejauh 10.000 ribuan kilometer dari Jakarta. Saat itu saya melakukan perjalanan ke Tajikistan, 3 jam dari Rusia. Kenapa saya tulis mencoba? Karena saya gagal. ASIP saya sudah mencair ketika transit di bandara Moscow, ice gel juga sudah beku, dan akhirnya saya buang di toilet bandara. Sekitar 15 botol.

3. Saya pernah melakukan perjalanan dari Jakarta jam 3 pagi bersama Aisha, naik taksi menuju Bandara Soetta  terbang ke Banjarmasin 2 jam, lanjut naik mobil ke Tanjung selama 5 jam, demi bisa berkumpul dengan ayahnya Aisha selama 3 hari. Total perjalanan 12 jam. Dan saya melakukan hal yang sama ketika kembali ke Jakarta. Saya sudah melakukannya dua kali dalam jeda waktu 6 minggu. Kenapa bukan suami saja yang pulang ke Jakarta? Sudah, kami sudah bertemu tiap 2 minggu, dan kebetulan saat itu saya pas ada kesempatan waktu luang. And love works in a both way :)

4. Saya pernah membawa anak saya dinas ke Semarang, hanya dengan saya, tanpa pengasuh, karena Bapaknya sedang di luar kota juga. Saya bawa anak saya terbang (saya bayar dengan uang pribadi tiketnya), saya titip ke adik saya yang tinggal di semarang selama 2 hari, dimana anak saya belum pernah ke sana, dan sangat jarang bertemu adim saya. Awalnya nangis dan saya sempat ragu, tapi alhamdulillah sukses sampa saya selesai dinas.

5. Saya izin ke atasan dalam sebuah rapat penting di Bogor, bahwa saya harus pulang karena tidak bisa meninggalkan anak saya, dan mengejar kereta termalam jam 21.30 dari Bogor. Paginya saya datang lagi ke Bogor untuk lanjut acara. Capek? Iya. Tapi semuanya hilang kalau sudah sampai rumah.

Sepertinya baru itu kegilaan saya. Selain kegilaan kegilaan kecil seperti pumping di Bandara, bawa2 ice gel dan ASIP berbotol2 tiap kali dinas keluar kota, yang akhirnya terbayar dengan bisa menyelesaikan asi selama 2 tahun :)

Dan mungkin, kegilaan saya selanjutnya, dan yang terbesar, adalah insya Allah saya akan membawa anak saya ikut mendampingi saya menjalani S2 di Melbourne nantinya. Dengan anak 3 tahun, harus sukses kuliahnya, di negeri orang, tanpa suami.

Dibalik itu semua, ada seorang suami yang sangat mendukung saya untuk melakukan segala sesuatu hingga batas yang saya bisa, yang mempercayai saya sehingga saya menjadi yakin untuk bisa melakukannya, menunjukkan cintanya pada saya sehingga saya kuat menjalaninya, dan mengagumi saya sehingga saya selalu senang menjalani apa yang saya lakukan.

Jadi ingat slogan nya urban mama : there is always a story in every parenting style.

And this is my style. Semoga Allag ridho.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Second Chance

I remember I was once praying to get a second chance, that time. And after all, in a different situation and background, this finally happens. And I did learn NOTHING after 8 years???

Making a second chance works is not as easy as I thought. The trauma of failure makes every single moment worse. I am told as a tough lady and a cheerful mother with energetic spirit. I know.

But I need to fight against my ego, my controlling desire, my anxiety. And now I know why fighting against ourselves is considered Jihad in Islam.

Do not behave irrationally. Be present. And calm down. 

"So let your heart hold fast, For this soon shall pass
Like the high tide takes the sand"  Fort Atlantic 


Monday, August 18, 2014

Sekolah Alam

Trial sekolah baru..
Alhamdulillah..akhirnya perjalanan mencari sekolah untuk Aisha berakhir dengan dipertemukan Sekolah Alam di dekat rumah. Di Usia Aisha 2 tahun 2 bulan,  Aisha mulai masuk kelas Kelompok Bermain. Sebenarnya tujuan dari saya masukkan Aisha ke sekolah ini adalah dalam rangka training kalau nantinya Aisha masuk daycare di Melbourne. Pasalnya, Aisha pernah tidak betah ketika saya titipkan di daycare dulu selama 2 bulan. Trauma dengan kegagalan itu, saya berniat melatihnya untuk terbiasa dengan lingkungan komunal, yang bersama banyak teman, dan diarahkan orang lain (guru). Alhamdulillah sekarang sudah ada mbaknya, jadi opsi untuk mentraining Aisha adalah melalui sekolah.

Kami diberi kesempatan untuk trial gratis selama 3 hari sebelum memutuskan join, tapi saya hanya sempat mengambil sbeanyak 2 kali. Dalam trial itu, Aisha langsung terlihat suka dengan tempatnya karena ada kambing, kelinci, ikan, kolam renang, ayunan dsb, serta lahan yang sangat luas. Meskipun pertama kali datang, Aisha langsung bilang: "sekolahnya mana?". Hehee..beberapa kali trial di rockstar gym dan gymboree, rupanya telah membuat mindset Aisha bahwa sekolah adalah bangunan bagus dengan mainan warna warni :p.
Nggak ada takut atau geli menyentuh kambing...

Latihan pentas

Saat trial, di kelas, Aisha masih sering-sering menanyakan "mama mana?" dan akan berkahir dengan nangis kalau saya nggak segera muncul (saya sembunyi di balik tembok). Dengan kondisi begitu, sebenarnya saya tidak langsung bisa memutuskan akan melanjutkan rencana sekolah Aisha. Sempat berdiskusi lama juga dengan suami, apakah "keberanian dan kemandirian" anak bisa ditraining melalui sekolah? Tapi karena saya berniat supaya Aisha harus sukses menikmati hidup barunya di Melbourne, kami beranikan untuk ambil keputusan sekolah Aisha ini.

Alhamdulillah, ketika hari pertama sekolah di tahun ajaran baru, selang sekitar 2 minggu dari trial nya dulu, Aisha terlihat senang dan mulai sangat jarang menanyakan saya ketika di kelas (saya sempat menunggui juga). Perkembangan terkait "mau ditinggal" ini cukup positif, di hari ke 5, ketika diantar mbak nya, Aisha sudah langsung lari menuju ibu guru, dan baru dadah ketika diingatkan gurunya.

Doa bersama sebelum makan
Sekolah alam memang memiliki konsep yang cukup berbeda dengan sekolah konvensional. Aisha bersekolah selama 3 jam per hari, selama 3 kali seminggu. Satu jam pertama acara bebas, pengkondisian anak dengan sekolah, seperti memberi makan kambing, kelinci, main pasir, memberi makan ikan di kolam, ayunan outdoor, sholat dhuha bersama dan lain sebagainya. Selanjutnya baru kegiatan pembelajaran yang sesungguhnya selama 2 jam. Mengingat kelas Aisha hanya beursia 2-3 tahun, hanya 3 anak dalam satu kelas, dengan dua guru :D (kalau ini juga karena sepinya peminat untuk kelas sekecil ini). Dengan komposisi begitu, pendampingan guru sangat intensif. Seperti misalnya ketika melihat kelinci, guru juga akan bertanya tentang warna kelinci, jumlah kaki kelinci, menirukan cara jalannya, makanan kelinci apa saja, dsb. Jadi inklusif substansinya. Tetapi ada satu hari dalam 3 hari sekolah itu, kelas Aisha digabung dengan kelas usia 3-4 tahun yang jumlah siswanya sekitar 7 orang. Di hari tersebut, mereka biasanya melakukan kegiatan yang "besar", seperti berenang di kolam renang, berbagi dengan kaum dhuafa di masjid (di-organize sekolah), atau games games outdoor yang butuh banyak orang.

Hasil dari sebulanan Aisha sekolah diantaranya adalah dari daftar lagu nya yang bertambah. Di antaranya lagi sayonara, yang entah kenapa versi dia menjadi:
"Ilalika..ilalika..sampai berjumpa lagi..insya Allah,
buat apa susah buat apa susah, susah itu ADA gunanya..yok"

Aku nggak tau versi bener dari gurunya seperti apa, tapi begini saja malah lucu :)).
Hal lain yang sering dia lakukan adalah menanyai mamanya dengan lagu"Good morning mama how are you?" dan harus kujawab dengan "Just fine", rupanya di sekolah ketika mulai kelas, dia melingkar ditanyain gurunya dengan lagu "good morning Aisha how are you?". Btw jangan bayangkan Aisha melafalkan bahasa inggris itu dengan fasih ya, aslinya ya gak sejelas itu dia ngomongnya gimana, itu hasil penterjemahan mamanya :p. Selain itu, Aisha juga jadi rajin berdoa sebelum makan karena di sekolah mereka berdoa bersama dengan menengadahkan tangan dan menutupnya dengan "amin" sambil mengusap muka. Alhasil, tiap mau melakukan apapun, kalau disuruh doa, doanya pasti doa sebelum makan, hahahaa.

Jadi rajin cuci tangan sendiri sejak sekolah. Alhasil, gampang basah bajunya!

Dalam laporannya, tertulis bahwa Aisha sama sekali tidak takut ketika memegang kelinci dan kambing, tidak ada geli sama sekali. (Padahal kalau sama semut dan laron aja dia takut langsung lari :p)
Bakti sosial sambil mengantuk-ngantuk :p
Hal lain yang menjadi ciri dari sekolah alam adalah perlunya peran serta orang tua dalam aktivitas sekolah anak. Setiap hari, orang tua diberikan buku laporan tentang aktivitas anak di sekolah, termasuk hal-hal yang terjadi di sekolah. Seperti kalau laporannya Aisha, tertulis bahwa Aisha menjawab ketika ditanya siapa nama ortunya, jawabannya "Papa Anas sama Mama Wiwien", dia juga bilang "Aita sayang sama mama sama papa" sama gurunya. Aisha memang sering sih bilang sayang gitu kalau di rumah, tapi ketika mendengar laporan dari orang lain, rasanya terharu..hehe. Trus ditulis juga kalau Aisha sempat tertidur di pangkuan guru pas perjalanan mau ke masjid untuk pembagian donasi, juga ketika di sekolah bajunya basah dan saya lupa bawain baju ganti (akhirnya ninggal 1 di loker sekolah). Jadi setiap pulang kantor, salah satu hal pertama yang saya tuju adalah buku laporan sekolah Aisha. Oh ya, setiap 2 minggu, ortu juga diberikan edaran terkait apa yang akan dilakukan anak di sekolah sehingga perlu disiapkan dari rumah. Misalnya, pada hari tertentu anak diminta bawa bekalnya buah dan sayuran (tema), atau pakai baju batik, bawa sandal jepit, bawa foto keluarga, dsb. Di beberapa wiken, sering juga diadakan family gathering memperingati lebaran, tahun ajaran baru, atau gathering aja :p Sayangnya saya beberapa kali skip karena tabrakan sama jadwal lain (yang lebih seru hehe).

Agak takut takut..
Rasanya sayang juga Aisha cuma bisa sekolah selama satu semester di sini. Namun demikian, semoga yang sebentar ini bisa menjadi lifetime experience yang indah dan bermanfaat bagi Aisha, amiiin...

Aisha's First Experience: Outbond!

Hari Sabtu kemarin, kami menghadiri acara family gathering kantor nya suami di Sentul City. Namanya sih "Family Gathering" tapi berhubung anak kami masih berusia 2 tahun, acaranya jadi "Bapaknya gatheirng, emaknya urusan Family". Alhasil, ketika suami mulai mengikuti kelas motivasi dan games team building, saya mendampingi Aisha mengikuti outbond yang khusus untuk anak-anak. Peserta anak-anak seharusnya bisa ditinggal ortunya, kebanyakan mereka berusia 4 tahun ke atas, tetapi karena Aisha masih kecil, jadi saya dampingi. Oh ya, sebenarnya anak-anak seusia Aisha banyak yang nggak ikutan acara outbond, entah emaknya malas nemenin dan "mendorong" supaya anaknya berani mencoba, atau karena alasan2 lain..yang jelas anak-anak 2 tahunan saat itu banyak yang cuma berlarian ke sana ke mari sembali emaknya menunggui sambil duduk berteduh (dan main hp, hehe).

Peserta terkecillll...
Tapi berhubung saya sudah berkomitmen dengan parenting style "Do my best and push my limit" dengan sebanyak mungkin memberikan pengalaman baru kepada Aisha, saya langsung mengkondisikan Aisha untuk ikut outbond. Saya bilang sama Aisha: "Ayo ikut teman-teman bermain di sana", sambil membawa Aisha ke kumpulan anak-anak yang mau ikut outbond. Aisha sempat bertanya tentang bermain apa? kenapa? dimana? dsb. Awalnya dia bilang juga "nggak mau", tapi ketika melihat teman-temannya dipasangi helm dan "sabuk", dia tertarik untuk pakai juga.
Permainan pertama dari serangkaian outbond itu adalah berjalan di anatara tiang seperti ini. Anak-anak yang lain pastinya bisa berjalan sendiri, Aisha dibantuin instrukturnya.

Titian pertama..muka tegang!
Permainan kedua merangkak di tangga. Ini sulit banget buat anak sekecil Aisha. Instrukturnya sabar banget, Aisha mau coba juga...tetapi pas sampai di atas, dia mulai kembik2 raut takut :D . Awalnya instrukturnya masih mau melanjutkan dan bilang ke Aisha kalau nggak apa-apa, sebentar lagi sampai atas, tapi akhirnya Aisha nangis dan panggil saya :p. Karena kuanggap itu "limit" nya Aisha, akhirnya saya ambil Aisha. Dan beberapa permainan setelah itu lebih tinggi lagi, Aisha cuma lihat saja. Beberapa kali saya tanya: "Aisha berani", katanya mantap: "Enggak belani". Lalu saya mencoba menjelaskan padanya bahwa tidak apa-apa karena Aisha masih kecil. Dan setelah itu, tiap ditanya Aisha mau ikut main lagi? jawabannya "enggak mau, Aita masih kecil" :))

Lalu dia melirik playground di sebelah lokasi outbond, yang memang lebih cocok buat anak seusia Aisha. Dia bilang "udah mainnya, mau main plosotan aja". Saya sempat nego supaya main ke playground nya nanti saja karena panasnya Masya Allah, lokasi outbond kan dingin banyak pohon. Tapi ketika melihat permainan outbond nya ga berhenti2, Aisha mulai merengek nangis. Dan kubawalah ke playground, dia main sendiri, dan aku berteduh... Fyuhh.

Setelah cukup lama, Aisha mulai teriak2 kalau plosotannya panas. Dan akhirnya minta berhenti juga. Lalu kami kembali ke area outbond. Nah saat inilah Aisha lihat teman2nya lagi main titian papan yang tinggi itu, surprisingly dia bilang "Aita mau itu". Saya kaget dan ragu apa Aisha bisa, tapi saya cuma bilang "Berani ya?", dan dia jawab iya. Lalu serangkaian meniti papan dia ikuti, benar-benar berani! Mukanya takut-takut, tapi tidak ada tanda mau nangis atau panggil saya. Dia berkali2 bilang "Aduh gimana ini kok susaaahh" (kebiasaan dia suka gitu kalau melakukan hal2 susah), tapi ternyata selesai juga.

Awal-awal terasa berat...

Berikutnya makin barani...
Baru di tahap ke tiga, ketika meniti potongan pohon, dia akhirnya menyerah dan panggil saya. Lalu saya ambil, dan saya berikan selamat karena dia udah berani di 2 titian sebelumnya. Dia tampak sangat senang.

Titian ketiga paling serem, akhirnya menyerah di tengah..
Sesi terkahir dari outbond adalah flying fox!! Saya tidak menawari Aisha untuk ikutan karena tingginya Masya Allah. Gitu ada juga anak umur 3 tahunan yang berani! Aisha terlihat senang melihat teman-temannya meluncur, dia bilang "Mbak nya terbang? berani? Kalau Aita masih kecil?" begitu tiap liat satu per satu temannya meluncur :p. Saya aja baru nyobain flying fox pertama kali pas escape dari acara Prajab, saat udah umur 23 tahun! :p

Tangkap ikan, tapi Aisha saya minta supaya ikannya ga dibawa pulang, kasian masuk plastik..

Biasanya ditemani ayahnya naik kuda, baru kali ini mulai berani..

Overall, alhamdulillah acara hari sabtu kemarin lancar jaya. Aisha yang lagi susah makan juga akhirnya lahap makan sendiri sate ayam yang dihidangkan! Jam 1 siang, alarm ngantuk nya Aisha udah bunyi, udah mulai tunjuk ini itu random, alhasil setelah main tangkap ikan, bajunya basah semua, saya gantiin baju, masuk mushola ngadem AC, dan dia langsung tertidur pulas hampir 2 jam. Bapaknya kemana? lagi asyik main paint ball! *pengorbanan seorang ibu yeh.

Pesan sponsor dari cerita ini adalah: first experience is always worth to fight. Setelah bermain outbond itu, tiba-tiba Aisha bilang "Aita seneng main sama teman-teman..makasih mama.."

Dan panas-panas siang itu terbayar sudah.

In red!

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Will I See Eiffel Differently?

Ketika lolos seleksi volunteer exchange AFS tahun 2008 dulu, pikiran pertama saya adalah "Yaah...kenapa bukan Perancis". Waktu itu saya mendapat jatah ke Austria, dari 2 pilihan lainnya Prancis dan Spanyol. Saat itu juga saya langsung sadar kalau saya telah kufur. Lalu buru-buru saya hapus pikiran saya itu dan melakukan segala daya dan upaya untuk mencintai "nasib" saya mendapatkan Austria. Singkat cerita, saya sukses mencintai Austria, dan belakangan saya tau kenapa Allah memilihkan Austria untuk saya, dan "menjauhkan" Prancis yang saya tulis sebagai pilihan pertama ketika melamar volunteer exchange tersebut.

Ketika di Austria, saya hanya mampu berkunjung ke beberapa negara tetangga yang bisa ditempuh dengan biaya murah. Banyak yang menyarankan supaya saya main sebentar ke Prancis. Tapi karena keterbatasan biaya dan juga jadwal yang padat dari AFS, saya tidak bisa melakukannya. Tahun 2008 saya masih kuliah, dan saya cukup tau diri untuk tidak meminta uang kepada orang tua saya untuk kesenangan saja. Sedangkan beasiswa AFS tidak memberikan stipend, tetapi berupa host family yang menjamin seluruh keperluan kita (yang sebenarnya tak ternilai harganya). Anehnya, waktu itu saya tidak kecewa, karena saya yakin, suatu saat saya pasti akan kembali lagi. Entah ada keyakinan dari mana, tapi saya merasa PASTI akan ke Prancis di masa yang akan datang.

Namun hingga tahun 2014 ini, saya belum juga kembali ke Eropa. Saya belum juga mengunjungi Prancis. Perjalanan hidup telah memberikan banyak kejutan bagi saya yang tidak berani saya bayangkan sebelumnya. Saya ingat, ketika duduk-duduk sendirian di taman dekat Volkstheater, di Wina tahun 2008 dulu, saya merasa sangat bahagia, merasa menjadi manusia yang sangat beruntung bisa berada di tempat indah tersebut, tetapi juga sedih dan kesepian karena nggak punya pacar, dan lebih tepatnya, mau ditinggal kawin hahaha. Kedengaran remeh ya, tapi di titik itulah, saya merasa mungkin seterusnya hidup saya akan menjadi petualang, menjadi orang yang bebas, bahkan mungkin seorang single fighter. Itulah kenapa saat itu saya berkeyakinan bahwa suatu saat saya akan berkeliling dunia (maklumlah obsesi mahasiswa HI yang tak ber-uang).

Tetapi ternyata jalan hidup berkata lain. Tahun 2009, saya diterima sebagai PNS. Sebelum saya menyadari sepenuhnya konsekuensi masuk ke dunia kerja, apalagi PNS, saya sudah langsung disadarkan pada fakta yang tidak mengenakkan: ke luar negeri tidak pernah seindah dulu lagi. Dulu, bagi saya, pergi ke luar negeri adalah perjalanan spiritual, perjalanan kebanggaan, dan perjalanan yang sangat membahagiakan karena kita sangat menginginkannya. Tapi sekarang di dunia kerja, perjalanan ke luar negeri tidak semudah dulu, entah itu kesempatan, atau juga tekanan. Dalam dunia kerja, ketika ke luar negeri, kita harus bekerja (*yaiyalah). Jadwal yang padat, dan biasanya hanya singkat-singkat saja, dari 3 sampai 7 hari. Kita harus bertemu orang-orang yang mungkin tidak benar-benar kita inginkan, orang-orang yang menurut saya, tidak bisa kita ajak ngopi bareng kalau suatu saat kita datang ke negara itu lagi dalam suasana liburan. Ya, orang-orang yang tidak bisa kita jadikan teman. Saya merasakan ini jauh berbeda dengan teman-teman yang saya dapatkan ketika dulu ikut exchange di Austria dan Singapura. I met them as strangers, I leave them as friends. Mungkin saya apes juga, selama beberapa kali ke luar negeri, yang saya hadiri adalah konferensi atau pertemuan yang cukup high level. Bukan acara training, yang akan mempertemukan saya dengan teman sebaya dalam waktu yang lebih lama (training biasanya satu minggu). Jadi impresi saya tentang perjalanan ke luar negeri butuh diperbaiki (*kode ngarep training haha). Walau begitu, saya sangat bersyukur atas kesempatan  itu, dan insya Allah saya tidak menyia-nyiakan pajak rakyat dengan berjalan-jalan tidak berguna ketika sedang dalam perjalanan keluar negeri---karena ga punya banyak waktu. 

Nah ketika belum juga berhasil kembali ke Eropa melalui tugas kantor, saya berfikir salah satu potensi terbesar saya bisa ke sana lagi adalah dengan sekolah S2. Pernah satu kali saya mencoba beasiswa, tetapi gagal dalam tahap wawancara karena saya kurang siap, waktu wawancara saya memang masih cuti melahirkan, baru 2 bulan setelah melahirkan. Saya sangat kecewa waktu itu, tapi akhirnya sudah menerima hal itu sebagai cara Allah untuk memilihkan saya jalan hidup yang lainnya. 

Masa-masa setelah itu, saya mulai disibukkan dengan tugas baru saya sebagai ibu. Menikah di usia 23 tahun, dan menjadi ibu di awal usia 25 tahun, merupakan hal yang lebih cepat dari bayangan saya. Saya yang dulu sempat bertanya-tanya apa bisa saya takluk pada seorang laki-laki dan dan mendedikasikan hidup saya untuknya, toh langsung lupa pikiran itu ketika pertama kali saya bertemu calon suami saya. Saya juga sempat takut untuk menjadi seorang ibu, tapi justru dengan ketakutan itu, saya sibuk setengah mati mempersiapkan diri untuk menjadi ibu yang ideal menurut saya. Dan ternyata, obsesi saya yang dulunya "hanya" ingin kembali lagi ke Eropa, perlahan bertambah menjadi obsesi terkait anak saya, mulai dari ASI 2 tahun, menjadikan anak suka  buku, mengajari doa dan hafalan, menjadikan anak mandiri (betah di playgroup, toilet training, dsb). Oh ya, belakangan baru kepikiran untuk obsesi membuat suami tetap stay in love hahaha. 

Anyway, setelah berjibaku intensif dengan anak selama 1,5tahun, akhirnya saya tergerak lagi  untuk kembali merajut usaha sekolah S2 lagi. Ada dua yang saya coba waktu itu, saya mencoba beasiswa kantor, dan satu lagi beasiswa dari pemerintah Australia. Dalam bayangan saya, beasiswa kantor adalah cara saya untuk kembali ke Eropa lagi. Untuk bersenang-senang lagi. Untuk menjemput nostalgia saya di masa lalu, bahwa saya bisa kembali lagi. Beasiswa dari Australia, saya coba karena waktu itu tawarannya datang lebih dulu, dan tidak ada salahnya mencoba. Meski saya hanya "coba-coba", tetapi saya menyiapkan aplikasi Australia dengan sepenuh hati. Saya konsultasi ke beberapa teman yang lolos, bahkan sampai mempelajari form aplikasi mereka. Ego persaingan saya kembali naik ketika mengikuti seleksi wawancara dan diikuti 900 orang yang terlihat serius dan berharap. Saya merasa tertantang mengikuti seleksi tersebut, karena penilaian dilakukan oleh orang luar, berbeda dengan beasiswa kantor saya yang diseleksi oleh kantor saya sendiri. Ajaibnya, proses aplikasi beasiswa Australia ini berlangsung sangat mudah dan dimudahkan, baik itu dalam tes tes nya , atau dari sisi izin/birokrasi kantor.

Tuhan memang tidak menyia-nyiakan hambaNya yang berusaha. Entah apa rencana Allah, rupanya Dia memilihkan Australia untuk saya. Karena sudah diterima beasiswa Asutralia, otomatis lamaran saya untuk beasiswa kantor dihentikan. Ada bagian dari diri saya yang merasa sedih. Memori saya tahun 2008 itu kembali datang, kapan saya kembali lagi ke Eropa? Mengharapkan perjalanan kantor pasti tidak bisa seindah kalau sekolah....dan S2 ini seolah kesempatan terakhir saya mewujudkan kembali ke Eropa.

Saya sempat duduk lama untuk mencerna apa yang saya terima ini. Beberapa hal baik tentang Australia melintas di pikiran saya. Toh saya akan bawa anak , dan suami tetap akan tinggal di Jakarta, sehingga Australia menjadi pilihan paling rasional untuk kondisi seperti ini. Australia masih memungkinkan dikunjungi suami tiap 3 bulan. Selain itu, allowance dari pemerintah Australia dan fasilitas daycare untuk anak saya juga yang paling masuk akal dibandingkan beasiswa lainnya. Tapi kemudian ketika saya harus membandingkan suasana Australia dan Eropa (well, Austria mungkin, toh aku baru mencicipi itu saja), aku langsung mewek sendiri kembali ingin ke Eropa. Di Australia bangunan eksotisnya nggak sebanyak di Eropa yang berbaris sepanjang jalan. Belum cuaca Eropa yang hangat kala summer, tapi tidak menyengat seperti di Australia. Dan mungkin salju yang pasti kutemui di tiap winter di depan jendela di Eropa. Ah....

Lalu suatu ketika, saya mengembalikan diri ini pada ingatan tahun 2008 itu. Ketika saya sangat menikmati berjalan bersama beberapa teman di lorong-lorong kota Wina yang hening, atau duduk di tram yang sepi, menunggu di halte yang penuh ketenangan, atau menikmati bunga-bunga di taman kecil Wina kala summer. Lebih jauh lagi, saya membayangkan melihat menara Eiffel berdiri di depanku. Saya duduk-duduk di bangku taman, dalam suasana summer yang hanya terasa hangat. Bersama anak saya yang mungkin hanya 50% dia paham dia sedang berada dimana. Meninggalkan suami yang mungkin 6 bulan tidak bertemu karena pertimbangan harga tiket Jakarta-Paris, belum juga beasiswaku yang harus bersaing dengan biaya daycare anak, atau gaji suami yang harus kutodong untuk menambah beasiswa saya...

Itukah yang ingin saya alami?

Apakah dengan kondisi seperti itu, saya masih akan melihat menara Eiffel sebahagia yang saya impikan tahun 2008 tadi? atau sama bahagianya dengan saya duduk-duduk di pelataran Melbourne University, dengan anak saya mendapat fasilitas childcare benefit dari pemerintah Asutralia, setelah saya bertemu suami saya bulan lalu?

Saya kembali teringat nasehat teman baik saya, bahwa "Well, you can't get it all". Itu nasehat yang sering saya dengar, tapi sering juga saya lupakan. Saya akan terus berprasangka baik kepada Allah, bahwa Dia telah memberikan yang terbaik untuk saya. Semoga, pada saatnya nanti, saya akan bisa merasakan seperti yang saya alami dengan Austria, mengapa Allah seperti benar-benar memilihkan Australia, bukan yang lain, untuk saya. Everything goes for some good reasons. That what's called by trust (iman).

Tentang mimpi saya tahun 2008 itu, biarlah menjadi salah satu mimpi yang akan membuat hidup ini lebih bersemangat. Bahwa mimpi akan terwujud di saat yang tepat, di saat yang benar-benar tepat. The journey to achieve those dream has not completed yet. Bismillah. 

Dan untuk sementara ini, dengan sepenuh hati dan fikiran, saya akan mengucapkan, "Australia, I am coming....".

Friday, June 13, 2014

Siapa melindungi siapa

Tadi malam, Aisha (2tahun 1 bulan) sedang mulai tertidur (setengah merem setengah melek). Karena posisinya di pinggir tempat tidur, saya bermaksud mengambil posisi terpinggir dekat Aisha. Dengan terkantuk-kantuk, Aisha melarang saya: "Mama kesanaan..biar endak jatuh"

"Lukanya udah nggak sakit, darahnya udah mati!"

Akhir-akhir ini, Aisha (2 tahun 1 bulan), ingin mengungkapkan hal baru tetapi dia belum tau kata-katanya, alhasil ketika lihat mata Miki Mouse kedip kedip, dia bilang: "Mama, mata Miki Mos kelap kelip!(keyap keyip)", 
atau ketika darah bekas luka di tangannya udah kering, dia bilang "Ini endak sakit, darahnya udah mati!".
Dan puncaknya ketika kuajak makan, dg teriak mantap dia menolak: "Endak mau makan, Aita ndak lapal...Aita masih sembuuuuuuh"
*didengar oleh mamanya yang langsung KENYANG!

Friday, May 16, 2014


An empty road, and it is still long way to go..
When looking back, it was a short, beautifull path
I can only stare of what I have done, of what we have done,
And what it has became, or why it has became empty.
I wonder where all the flying spirit gone.

Now that I try to walk closer,
But you stand still.
Or I want to comfort better,
But you may wonder.
If I just let the gloomy stay,
I may sweep what still left, away.
It was "stuck in a moment and I can't get up".

It is a scary phase,
It was me who failed in this same point.
And losing the precious mine once upon a time.

Indeed,  it is a working in progress.
It is not supposed to be happy ending,
It is a life time efforts, a long life endurance,
A continuous presentation,
A sincere action, without being demanding on the same response.

I just...want to hear you call, in the middle of the lunch,

and say “Hi..”.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Be Kind to The Unkind...

So my husband and I were driving in a quite narrow road, which only fit for one car (and half) only, and it was already 7pm at night. And as predicted, there was a car coming from adverse direction from ours. we both stopped, my husband and the other driver got out from their cars and figured out whether they still can managed to go through. But it seemed that there was no possible way that the two cars could pass the same road at the same time. the other driver only said: "'s imposible..", with a frustated face (he was not that frustated, but his default face-sorry to say-is always frustated). So my husband calmly said: "Okay Pak, I will juts go backward". And he did. It was not an easy one since the road quite narrow and there were small canal (parit) on the edge. But finally, slowly, my husband made it: drive the car backwards for about 5-7 meters until we find a larger space to let the other car pass. we still open our car windows, the other car's windows are still open too, so that we can see each other faces. BUT, the other car just passed us, just go through without even noticing us who stopped and GIVE them a way. At first I was expecting the other driver would say thank you. But at the end, even we did not receive a single smile from him. I feel sad knowing that those kind of person existed. My husband only said: "I can tell from his face". So my husband actually already know from the begining, but still he did something for those driver.

And it happened again when I was in the KRL train from the office. There was a mother, probably in her late 40. She entered the packed train with 3 kids, 2 of them are still small, around 4 and 5 years old. Seeing this condition, a man which previously sit down, gave his seat to the mother. Instead of giving the seat to her kid, the mother took the seat for herself! Well, she said to her youngest kid to sit with her (dipangku), but the kid refused as the kid wanted to sit on her own. But the mother said with a bit high tone and force her youngest kid to sit in her thigh (dipangku). Finally the kid sit with her though. And not far from those mother, there was another person who will stop in the next station, and left the seat exactly infront of me empty. I took the chair for several seconds until I realized there was another kid of those mother, in the middle of the crowd. I gave my seat and asked those kid to sit. The mother looked surprise and happy, and she let her second kid to sit in my seat. Full stop. No more interaction with me, not even a single "thank you.." to me. 

Those two events made me think through (cieh), on WHY? and again, how can those kind of people existed? What kind of heart they have that can not be touched by kindness? 

However, I should not lose hope on fighting myself to always be kind. Being kind is my decision. Jakarta may be unfriendly to us, but we should be friendly to Jakarta. I believe that we should put some (good) colors in every place we stepped. And this time is for Jakarta. 


Thursday, December 19, 2013

An Early Congratulation to My Husband

So this is a story about the pursuit of a biggest dream. It was 3 years ago, in 2011, my used to be boyfriend, decided to kick out an invitation of medical check up test, the final test of PT. Pertamina PGE. It was his dream, indeed. He applied the vacancy and conducted all of the series selection since 2010, before we both met. He decided not to take those final test, which most likely would be accepted, "only" because that the job placement will be in somewhere outside Jakarta. If accepted, this would  jeopardize our marriage plan. We were not prepared to have a long distance marriage. So after discussing this and that, consulting here and there, my ex boyfriend -now my husband- did not attend the medical test and left his big chance to be part of PGE. It was a hard decision. It took me sometimes to ensure myself that those decision was okay. And i believed it took more time for my husband to do the same. But most of all, i admired my husband alot on his way of thinking on priority, on how he has been so firm with our marriage plan, and moreover, i was fascinated with his confidence on his capability that someday, he will make his very dream come true again, in other way.

So life goes on. My husband continued to have a series of engineering jobs, which make my husband a privilage to me. I always proud of what my husband do for his jobs,  most of them are in private sectors, or an outsourced employee in the governemnt enterprise. It goes until this last 3 years. He has been succeding his jobs. his three jobs in three years. His bright jobs, but not his career. Yes, not his career. He needs to have a larger contribution for society, not only for a (private) company. And most of all, there is a need for him to start building a career path, the thing he could not build highest in private mining and oil company in Jakarta.

So he decided to give Pertamina another shot. This time is Pertamina EP. He has been working for Pertamina EP here in the headquarter Jakarta with outsource status for a year until now. My husband explain to me that he is ready to pursue for a bigger contribution. To do so, he must be part of PEP, as a permanent employer. So he applied. And again, another series selection is joined, from capability test, english, interterview. He was invited again for the final selection: medical check up. It took more than half a year to complete the final result: he is accepted. He is granted an offering letter from PEP to be a permanent employee. But he will be placed in Prabumulih. It was both happy, and yet shocking news.

This offering letter has made us think hard this past few days. My husband asked to have quite sometimes to think. He would make his very best negotiation he could to make the offer better. And he was really doing his best to do so, i know. The fact that we have never been separated during our 3 years of marriage has made us think how we would cope with this option. And he has not come to the decision regarding this offer. We would give ourself sometime to think comprehensively about this.

However, regardles the decision we may take, or where luck will bring us,  i have to say: congratulation my husband! You have lived your biggest dream job from time to time..

My husband has been persistent in keeping a dream, and know how to give it a shot. For me, he already an employee of  the biggest government oil company he always dream of. Being accepted twice has shown enough of his capability i always respect. And i am so proud of him.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Aisha's Stimulation Activities

Aisha's genuine moves in Taman Suropati
First of all, I would like to aplogize for series of blog posts about Aisha, in english, this past few days. I was learning how to write in english, since I will have an English test this early January 2014. The most idea that enable me to write faster at this moment would be Aisha, so here we go I talk about Aisha over and over again, hehee. But, since this is my blog, I can just write what I want right? Haha. Thanks to Blogspot !

So in this post, I would like to review about Aisha's stimulation activities that has significant impacts on her development up to this almost 20 months old. I would also write about the activity I plan to do with her for the weekends, based on small research (read: Google), I have done during my free time in the office.  (I will write about those topic differently in other post).

Having taking care my own daughter for almost two years, I started to believe that Stimulatin is VERY VERY important. If we assume that baby's development is a product, stimulations are the machines to gain a fabricated product we expected. How we stimulate our kids will decide how our baby tends to be. For example, I just realized last night that I have been stimulating Aisha more on verbal and speech, which finally lead her to have more speech developments and skills than those of any "exercising/moves" activity. To prove, as I wrote before in my previous post, Aisha could speak mama and papa (and she meant it) before the agre of 12 months, but only walked after 14 months. 

Okay this is a list of stimulations that has been received by Aisha and has a significant impact to her development. Thus, I consider to continue give this stimulation.

1. Books related stimulation
Aisha reads a small books on her own.
I have been excited in baby books when I started to get pregnant. Yes, it was me who are excited. I myself do not love books unconditionally. Well, I read a book quite alot too though, but I read it merely because I feel I have to: to finish my job and to increase my knowledge consciously. I think my "book relationship" is resulted of my education backgrounds which encourage me to read alot as a social science student, and I did alot. But I remember I havelimited access to book when I was a kid, especially those good books, due to my family financial condition. Thus, to thank God that I could buy good books for my daughter, I always excited whenever I see a goog books: full colour, simple but not merely page (usually come with sounds, furr, magnet, wipe page, etc), I bought the books and read them to Aisha. My husband usually gives me a comment, if not a complaint, on why I buy more books while Aisha already have many. Until he sees the result that Aisha loves those book and start to "read" at the age of  1,5 year. Well, Aisha could not read the words of course, but she could already understand the story I told her, she could pointed out most of every objects in the books, she could imitate most of words I read to her, and even she started to read on her own using her own words and imagination! Besides, Aisha already able to ask me to read her a book before she sleep, she said "butu..butu.." while pointing a book shelf above our bed. She has several favourite books and ask her dolls to read the books: "Gadah..bata..bata..butu.." while holding her elephant dolls in front of the book.

2. Outdoor Stimulations
Well, Aisha's outdoor stimulation was not on a daily basis since both of me and my husband work a full day on the weekdays, and we do not allow our baby sitter to go outside the house with Aisha frequently. But I try to make our weekend the best outdoor activities for her. I almost as excited as her when we have a morning walk in the neighborhood. At first I showed her about birds, cat, trees, leaves, rain, water, ponds, and fish to her. And now she is the one who told me those outdoor stuffs by pointing her finger and said the words: "itan mandi" (kan mandi), "ain" (air), "poyon" (pohon), "buyun" (burung), "kutin" (kucing). I also encourage her to relate the outdoor objects with songs and then sing together. We sing about Burung Kutilang, Burung Hantu, Pelangi, Naik Kereta, etc. Actually I have a wish to plan a weekend class for Aisha, thaught by me with specific target and indicator. But I never managed to do it intetionally. 

Aisha asked us to ride her a horse in ITB Campus in one sunday morning

Ragunan Cycling is one of our most routine outdoor activities

Watering is her favourite
Sunday morning walks in Car Free Day
3. Speech Stimulation
Both me and my husband are enjoy to speak (well, talkative you may say :p). Both of us can spend hours to just talk at home, although we already meet everyday, haha. And probably Aisha also inherit this behaviour. In her 20 months no, she almost never stop making a sound from her mouth: either speaking, singing, laughing and smiling, or crying! We stimulate her to speak conciously though. We talked to Aisha since the first day she was born. We asked her every question a baby should ask, like: "itu apa?", "Mau kemana?", "Yang mana?", "Kenapa?", "dari mana?" to stimulate her, and we succeed, she started to ask questions now: "Apa itu?/apa ini?" and "Mana?". We talk to her in our language (I never try to imitate her baby voice such as tutu for susu, butu for buku, etc). This helps Aisha learn the correct word faster. I remember that she learnt to say: Mimik for only 2 weeks. The first she said: "mam" for "mimik", then it improved into "mik", and she said correctly "mimik" after 2 weeks. Also, we tried to tell her every objects and activities she sees and does. At first she did not responded on what we said (for example we said "Aisha sedang makan nasi"), and then she  imitated our words, and now she is the one who explain to us what she does: "ayta mam nayi". I don't know with other babies, but I am sure that the ability of Aisha's speech in her 20 months old now is on the advanced development of her stage.
She said: "adek..mimik ya?" to a doll. Ah she is no longer a baby.
Aihsa shows us where is Simbah, and here she goes pointing while laughing.
4. Stimulation with Educative Toys
I guess most parents like to buy toys for their kids. I do too. But what makes me excited in buying new toys for her is that I believe those toys could build someting in Aisha's development. BUT, actually, the bad news is that, most of Aisha's toys is educative toys...and probably less fun than any challenging toys. I realized this when my husband reminded me that Aisha's toys are "serious" ones (wooden blocks, bricks, wire game, Do-re-mi musics, books, flash cards, sortings, etc). Well, I don't want to waste my money, right? haha. Luckily since last week Aisha started her daycare. And in the daycare there are aloooot of challenging toys that attract Aisha's attention. It was a surprised for me that she enjoyed alot the toys, and stimulate her to move, to walk, to climb, and probably boost her adrenalin (plosotan) as she plays them by her own. So I guess this combination has been perfect for her, Alhamdulillah.
A corner where we gather most of Aisha's toys
I counted she almost able to recognize more than 60 pictures from a card/books.
Toys in the daycare
Toys presentation :p
Okay this is for now. To sum up, stimulation is a need for every baby. As a parent, I feel that I have the utmost responsibility in giving her the stimulations she should receive. Moreover, I feel that Aisha is receiving new informations and knowledge from me faster and better. She always shows her happy faces when I teach her something. It is indeed true that a moslem proverb said: a mother is the biggest madrasah (school) for her kids. I pray to Allah that He will ease my way in educating Aisha in the most possible way I could, to increase my knowledge to be the best mother and school for Aisha's development.

I also thanks to God for entrusting Aisha in our care.


Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Aisha's Development after the Daycare

My previous post mainly talked about The Daycare and how I feel about the daycare I have choosen. In this post, I would like to mainly review some of Aisha's development (or behaviour) after her several days spent in the daycare. This post is both for a note-taking for myself to know Aisha's progress after the daycare, and also to calm myself that Aisha is okay and will be okay to spend her time in the daycare (*harap maklum masih was-was juga). So here some points of Aisha's development and changes after we put her 5 days in the daycare:

1. Talk alot MORE
I know that Aisha has been a "chatty" baby. Her verbal development has always been faster than her other development. For example, she started to walk in her 14 months old, but she already called mama and papa (and she meant it) since her 9 months old. Before her first birthday, Aisha already mastered the concept of me by saying "Ayta". 
BUT, just right after she experienced daycare, she talk alot mooore and mooore. She always comments on everything she sees, such as: "Mama...tatii...ayta naik tatii" (Aisha naik taksi), or when she sees a train on the road: "tetaa...atiik..atiik..ayta naik tetaa". Those kind of things. If there is nothing attract her attentions, she sings!! And she already mastered several songs by herself, of course using her own words: Cicak di dinding, Naik kereta api, Matahari terbenam. And several songs with our helps: Balonku ada lima, Burung Kutilang, Bebek Bebekku, and many more.  Aisha also can say "Dah ampe.." (udah nyampai) when we stop our vehicle and arrived home. Also, she said: "Baju pate..pate.." (Pakai baju), or correcting us by saying "Butan...butan.." (bukan), such as when the clothes we wear or she wears is not as her expectation. 

2. Interested in other people
Well, I can say that before Aisha went to the daycare, I am the only one who she preffered. Seriously, even compared to her father. When we met new people, even our family, Aisha always want to be with me all the time. She doesn't want to be in touch with her grandmother, grandfather, uncle, auntie, although she already know them (she pointed out her grandmother when asked where is "mbah").  Annnd...just right after 3 days Aisha spent in daycare, her grandmother visited from Jogja, and for the first time in life: Aisha recognize her grandmother!!! She often pointed out "ini mbah..", and also "Ayo mbah..main..", or "Mbah..yayi yayi" (ngajak mbah nya lari-lari). She showed her toys to Mbah, her books, her dolls, as if Aisha was making a presentation. And for the jackpot: Aisha refused me to help her taking a bath, and said: "mbah..mbah..ayta mandi..." Aisha asked my mother! haha. It was a surprising experience for my mother. 
Also, Aisha started to greet her friends in our neighborhood when we meet them in morning walk. She said happily to one of 3 years old girl: "Ayta mam..ayta mam.." (Aisha makan) while pointing me feeding her. Also she cheered "Dadaah..dadaah..." when there is another little girl waving her goodbye.

3. More active
The first day Aisha cameback from the daycare, her legs are warm, shows that she is tired. It was not surprising me though: one hour I observed her in the daycare, she walk around every corner to play the toys, She played the swing for a while, and then walk again to play "Plosotan", and then walk agoin to play "Kuda-kudaan", and stop by playing dolls, and imitate what her friends play, and all and all. Maybe Aisha is still excited to see alot of her favourite toys in a large colourfull rooms. 

4. Imitating every new words "perfectly"
Before, Aisha was only imitating the end sound of the world. Such as, when we said "dingin", she only said "ngin..". But now, she imitates whatever we said to her. When I said in the daycare: "Aisha pulang ya...", and talked to her friends while waving goodbye, she directly followed me saying "Ayta puyaan..ayta puyaan..dada..". And she suddenly can answer my greeting "Assalamualaikum", and she answered: "Ayaa..yayam.." Actually we forget to teach her about this, only practising in front of her. But  in her daycare, of course she practices alot this greeting for opening the classes and closings.  And now, Aisha also started to imitate whatever we said, from "mama mau kerja" (and she will said "Ayta teda") up to "Aduh..aduh..aduh..".

5. Eat by herself ALOT
In the daycare, Aisha sit together in small chairs with her friends, eating 3 times a day and 2 times snacking. The teacher always reported that Aisha eat alot, especially in the morning and evening (in afternoon at 11.30am usually she eats a little as Aisha has been eating alot during breakfast at 7 am and followed by snacking at 10 am). Although Aisha has mastered eating by herself before (since she practised Baby Led Weaning since 6 months old), but I still surprised that she is able to eat alot on her own. And just after this 5 days in daycare, I feel that Aisha has gained more weight. Alhamdulillah.

6. More Laugh and Alive
I dont know how to describe this "Alive". But Aisha has been very enthusiastic after her experience in daycare. She sings with very wide smiles, and sometimes clapping hand (I never teach her clapping while singing), and after finish a song, she will clap the hands and cheers: "yeeeeee!".For sure this is what she experienced in school. Also, she laughed alot when I play her some funny faces or tickling. She sings whenever there is a chance (while playing dolls, while reading a book, or while we are on the way to go). I hope that this enthusiasim is a result of her happines in the daycare.

In sum, I am so happy to put Aisha in daycare. Whenever I come home from the office and pick her, I feel so happy as I feel I will meet Aisha with another new things. Daycare turns our to give her a new and exciting experiences for Aisha in every aspects: new toys, new songs, new games, new words, and new friends. I do hope and pray that this very good developments will always follow Aisha's time in daycare in the future. I do hope Aisha could stop crying when we leave her (she still did though). 

Most of all, I pray to Allah that He will guide and bless our little Aisha in every aspect of her life, anytime, anywhere. Amiin.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Aisha's First Days in Daycare (19 Months Old)

Bening Daycare
The Daycare
Due to one and the other things (bahasa Inggrisnya "karena satu dan yang lain hal" kayak begini bukan sih? hehe), we decided to no longer hire my baby Sitter for Aisha. I have to admit that I feel very sad since the baby sitter has helped us since Aisha was born, 1,5 years ago. Aisha loves her too. However, at this moment, I am not thinking to look for another nanny, I know that my perfection and high qualification for a nanny will make it next to impossible to find a new nanny in Jakarta in a short time. Therefore, I prefer to search for the a good daycare in my neighborhood than to try to find a replacement of our previous nanny. In short, after visiting 4 daycares around our house in Depok, and reviewing so many others through their websites, we finally decided to put Aisha in "Bening Daycare", located around 2 KM from our house, and on the way to the train station. There are several considerations on why finally we choose this daycare among some others:
  • The toys are abundant! And most of them are Aisha's favourite which we do not have at home (since they are "big--and expensive-toys", only see them in Playgrounds --and Ace Hardware of course haha), such as: Ayunan,Plosotan, and 5 types of  colourful "kuda-kudaan", all from famous brand Little Tickes, etc. This toys are apart from any other toys such as dolls, puzzle, blocks, wire game, balls, etc. Also there are several small chairs and tables which always attract Aisha's attention; Aisha loves to say: "duduk..duduk..". Some other Daycares do not have the toys as this much, or they keep the toys only for a special sessions (not being exposed all the time), and Aisha already has most of the toys in other daycares at home.
  • The location is just soooo perfect. It is close to our house, and we can drop Aisha before we go to train station for working. Even I picked Aisha by my own, using motorcycle (I put Aisha's in my "gendongan punggung"), as I only take a short rute and a quite one.
  • The environment is homy where the main "caregiver" is the family in the house: Mother (the owner), Grandmother (Aisha called her "nenek", which is new for her since she always called grandmother with "mbah"). There are 2 additional teachers who come from 8am to teach a session, and continue to take care of the kids up to the evening. 
  • The house is quite big, it is alot bigger than our house and all of the locations are functioned as playground. I like this environment as Aisha will always be in the playground most of the time, the place where all kids should be.
  • The class session is just matched for me. It is only 1 to 2 hours in the morning from 8 am to 9.30 maximum. And the activities are vary from religious activities (hafalan doa dan surat, sholat), singings, skills (menempel, mewarnai), and sports (dancing, gyms, etc). The daycare mentioned about filed trip to zoo, seaworld and other outdoor places as well, but I guess occasionally.

Aisha's Favourite Toys in Daycare
However, apart from its best part, this daycare also lacks in several aspects, such as:
  • Since this daycare is a "Home Daycare" the rules are not that strict. For example, when it is said the session will be started at 8 am, it can happen at 8.30 am (well but as babies, who cares right?). Also, for a sleep time, they are not really force the kids to sleep (like closing the door, not allowed to play during sleep time, etc). Well this is probably still okay though, since as babies, their world are only play and play as they wish. But Aisha ever experience 1 hour sleep only in daycare as she always want to go back to the playground during sleeptime. When Aisha is taken care by the baby sitter at home, she sleep for a minimum 2 ours in a daytime
  • The ratio of kids and the caretaker in the daycare are sometimes to much. there are 10-14 kids maximum (depend on whether the kids come or not) with only 3-4 caretaker. Actually I do not really mind about this ratio since the kids is mostly at the age of 2,5 years (the oldest is 4 years: 2 kids). However, I hope that the daycare be "strict" in accepting of refusing kids because of quota.
  • The place should have been more cleaner. I dont know, I have quite high standar for this cleanlines, especially in other's place (ya kalau rumah sendiri kotor2 mah gapapaa, hehehe).
  • Oh ya, the enrollment fee is very expensive, most expensive of other daycares I visited in Depok. But the monthly fee is okay.

Aisha's Experience
The night before Aisha's first day in daycare, I cried alot. I really really cried in anxiety and despair : what would happen to Aisha tomorrow? what if she was not listened? How could aisha ask for food and drink? what if aisha want to be hugged? how the daycare will fulfil her needs? I talked to my husband how worry I am, how I feel sorry for what has happened, and why I can not just be with Aisha all the time? *ngelantur

However, my dear Aisha is a nice and clever one. I have been sounding to her that she will no longer with the babysitter the day after, and will go to school. Aisha responded happily, and she repeated after me "Aita toyah" (Aisha sekolah). She was very happy when we bring her on the way to train station. She usually cries when we leave her for office. She said : "Aita itut..tut.." (Aisha ikut). And she sang happily on the way to the daycare. In short,however,  she cried right after we give her to the caregiver in the daycare. I cried too. But we have to leave. She stopped crying after we leave.

The teacher reported that Aisha asked her friends to sing her "cicak di dinding song". Then Aisha danced while her friends was singing. However, when the song stopped, Aisha start to cry  hahaha. On the second day, Aisha's command to her friends was not only to sing. This time, she asked her friends to sit down on small chairs. Most of her friends are not responded, then Aisha cried. Her teacher reported me that Aisha already has a sense of leadership hahahaha. At first I was afraid that Aisha will feel intimidated among other new friends in daycare. But I am wrong: she is very confidence and even try to take a lead, haha. Ah you are sooo your father (and your mother too hehehe).

On a second day, Aisha has been famous for having "lagu kebangsaan Aisha": cicak di dinding, naik kereta api, dan burung hantu. She is very happy (claping and laughing) when her friends sing those songs. Finally the teacher starts the classes by singing those songs to cheer Aisha. On the way home, Aisha also sings by herself various songs, mostly those 3 songs (well of course in her own language, but very clear on the word "cicak cicak di dinding", and naik kereta api "tuut..tuuut..tuuut"). I can see cheerfullnes in Aisha's behaviour after finishing the daycare. Even on the second day, Aisha refused to go home, hahaha. I came to pick her when she played ayunan with Nenek. I observed for a minute from distance that Aisha sang together with Nenek who helped her play ayunan (mengayun). Aisha smiles alot. When I approached, she laughs. She pointed me her favourites toys: "itu tuda (kuda)", "ni yun-yun (ayunan)", "ni yotan (plosotan)" with smiles. And when I said let's go home, she firmly said: "emoooooh...". However, in her third day today, she still cried when I leave her in the daycare. 

Any other good things that the teacher reported is that: Aisha eats alot in the daycare! hahaha what a surprise! Well Aisha is not a difficult eater, but this past few days, she has been eating a little. But the teacher reported that Aisha eat by her own alot! using spoon!! She finished most of the eating sessions, and even once finish her friend's, haha. I did not really believe at first, but when I touch her belly: oh big!  Alhamdulillah. Probably because she eats together with several friends in a small table and chair. Or maybe her competition insting makes her feel should eat more than the others, haha.

I pray to God that this Bening Daycare is the best for Aisha in boosting her potentials: her new skills and learnings, her socialization skills, her inteligence, her bravery, and her health as well. I am so thankful on how God "forced" me to new plan, to go out of my comfort zone and put Aisha in the daycare.

The unfortune event of loosing Aisha's babysitter, which actually hit me alot, has turned into another happiness I have never imagined before. This is how Allah remind me to always put trust in Him. There is one verse 51 of At Taubah  which I always bear in mind: 

"Say...nothing can happen to me except what Allah has ordered for me. He is our Master. It is in Allah that the believer should put their TRUST."

Happy Faces!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Pengalaman Mengajar

Hari ini untuk kedua kalinya saya mengajar. Kali ini masih dalam training yang diselenggarakan oleh Lembaga Teknik UI di Kampus Salemba, sama seperti ketika pertama kali saya mengajar. Saya diminta untuk memberikan materi terkait Kriteria Penilaian Proyek, khususnya kalau dalam kapasitas saya adalah yang dibiayai dari pinjaman luar negeri. So far, tema ini yang memang paling saya kuasai dan relevan dengan kapasitas pekerjaan saya di kantor. Sebelumnya, selama satu tahun (periodik, tidak sepanjang tahun), saya mendapat training terkait Project Assesment, yang tentu saja membahas kriteria penilaian proyek yang dimaksud.

OK selanjutnya saya tidak akan membahas detail materi paparan saya, kalau mau membahasnya lebih lanjut, bisa undang saya lagi sebagai pengajar..heheheh *ditimpuk penghapus

Hari ini, selesai mengajar, saya keluar kelas dengan rasa puas dan optimisme luar biasa. Di kelas saya tadi, pesertanya adalah para PNS yang berasal dari Pemda (Bappeda, Dinas PU, Setda Kabupaten, Kanwil Kemenag, Setda Pemkot, bahkan ada pula dosen dari STAIN), dari beberapa daerah di Indonesia. Saya takjub bagaimana mereka dengan SANGAT antusias menerima materi yang saya sampaikan, mereka juga aktif bertanya dan sharing pengalaman terkait materi saya dalam konteks mereka di daerah. Dari pertanyaan dan sharing-sharing mereka, saya merasakan bahwa mereka adalah orang yang idealis, padahal usia mereka sudah tidak muda lagi (ya tapi jangan bayangkan juga orang tua masuk kelas hehe, ya 35-40 tahun lah).

Sebagai contoh, mereka bercerita bahwa suatu ketika ada pihak dari pemerintah pusat datang dan menyampaikan akan membuat sebuah proyek infrastruktur bandara di kabupaten tersebut. Peserta training itu menjelaskan bahwa setelah dia mempelajari kembali dokumen RTRW atau dokumen perencanaan kota lainnya, sebenarnya proyek tersebut tidak ada dalam rencana tata kota mereka. Namun demikian, mereka tetap menyetujui pembangunan tersebut karena proyek tersebut sesuai prioritas nasional. Yang saya salut adalah, upaya dia untuk mempelajari kembali dokumen2 perencanaan kota yang sudah ada, dan dia gunakan untuk "mendebat" usulan proyek dari pemerintah pusat. Hal ini berbeda dengan kasus umum yang terjadi dimana proyek besar adalah sesuatu yang dinanti2 oleh daerah, apalagi jika itu proyeknya pemerintah pusat, artinya daerah tidak perlu menyediakan dana utamanya. Sebelumnya peserta ini menanyakan tentang poin-poin yang saya tulis sebagai syarat pemenuhan kesediaan tanah (saya menulis aapa yang sudah diatur dalam Peraturan Pemerintah), namun peserta ini menambahkan perlunya menambah komponen RTRW yang jelas, karena hal itu bisa sangat mengganggu.

Peserta yang lain ada yang menanyakan salah satu contoh proyek yang tergolong berhasil dari Kementerian Pertanian, dalam hal ini adalah proyek FEATI yang dikoordinasikan di direktorat saya . Kebetulan ada salah satu peserta lain ada yang pernah terlibat dalam proyek itu di level daerah, dan memberikan gambaran bagaimana proyek tersebut diterima oleh masyarakat dan pelaksanaan proyeknya benar-benar melibatkan petani di wilayah kabupatennya. Hingga saat ini, proyek yang telah selesai tersebut masih sering dibicarakan oleh masyarakat karena manfaatnya masih dirasakan. Saya terhanyut mendengarkan penjelasan peserta tersebut, di samping sebenarnya saya tidak begitu tahu keberhasilan proyek itu di level gras root penerima manfaatnya. DI level kami di pusat, proyek itu memang sering pula disebut dan diusulkan untuk direplikasikan melalui pendanaan dari dana rupiah.

Di akhir paparan saya, setelah saya menutup sesi saya, saya sempat bertanya darimana mereka mengetahu informasi terkait training ini. Saya bertanya demikian karena kagum atas betapa besarnya cakupan peserta yang ada, bayangkan dari Pemkot Salatiga, Karawang,hingga Lombok Barat, Manado, dan Empat Lawang (ayoo googling dimana kabupaten itu!). Dan jawaban mereka justru lebih membuat saya kagum: "kami cari sendiri bu, dapat dari websitenya Bappenas (Pusbindiklatren). Kalau menunggu dari provinsi atau atasan, ga akan bisa sampai sini...". (untuk teman2 yang ingin mengikuti  beragam training dan diklat yang diselenggarakan Bappenas, bisa klik link ini).

Wow! Saya yang selama ini menginginkan sebuah training di negara yang masuk dalam "Wish List" tertohok juga dan menanyakan pada diri sendiri: "Apa yang sudah saya lakukan untuk mencari dan mengupayakannya sendiri?"

Lalu, sebelum saya akhirnya harus benar-benar pergi, mereka bertanya terkait suka duka saya menjadi Staf JFP (Jabatan Fungsional Perencana). Memang saya akui banyak sekali suka nya, walaupun saya belum pernah merasakan jadi staf non fungsional perencana. Intinya mereka menyampaikan keinginan mereka untuk mengambil jalur funsgional JFP. Saya jelaskan sebatas kemampuan dan pengetahuan saya. Saya sampaikan pula bahwa peserta training ini pada periode sebelumnya, ada satu orang dari Basarnas kalau saya tidak salah ingat, adalah satu-satunya JFP di lembaga tersebut, yang mengupayakan sendiri juga untuk jadi JFP. Alhasil sekarang, beliau banyak ditanyai temen2nya yang ingin jadi JFP juga tapi tidak tau harus bagaimana. Pernyataan saya tersebut ternyata membuat mereka bersemangat dan yakin untuk bisa mengupayakan menjadi JFP.

Ah, saya senang sekali hari ini. Saya seperti melihat sebenarnya ada banyak mutiara-mutiara di pedalaman yang bersinar cerah. Yang setiap harinya menjalankan pemerintahan ini dengan penuh semangat, yang ternyata gak selalu anak muda, yang gak selalu orang yang pandai bahasa inggris seperti mereka di pemerintah pusat, yang sangat semangat dan yang bisa diajak berbagi idealisme menjalankan negara.

Ah saya memang mengajar mereka hari ini, tapi saya yakin, apa yang saya dapatkan sama banyaknya dengan mereka, bahkan lebih!

*dan tak lupa sebelum pulang, pihak panitia memberikan amplop coklat dan tandatangan di atas materai kepada saya. Alhamdulillah :)

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